


A Room on the Moon

by gianee



Category: Addams Family (TV 1964), Addams Family - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:53:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28369434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gianee/pseuds/gianee
Summary: Gomez discusses his plans to build on a plot on the moon with his stockbroker and longsuffering lacky, Blooker.60s GomezxMorticia fluff and nonsense.
Relationships: Gomez Addams/Morticia Addams
Comments: 3
Kudos: 13





	A Room on the Moon

"Now Blooker," Gomez asserted, stubbing out his cigar on his cuff. "I know NASA need all the funds they can get after all that misfortune with Apollo 1. Tell them I'll buy them a nice, shiny, new shuttle if they just dig some foundations while their up there. It'll be no trouble for them."

The stockbroker tried to argue the point that NASA didn't actually own the moon, that no one did. That he could not dig a septic tank on the moon even if it were physically possible - which it isn't. Gomez Addams, however, was having none of it. It was common knowledge, _of course_ , that a Mr. James T. Mangan was the landlord of the moon, and a very reasonable one too. Uncle Fester had been Mangan's boyhood friend and had invited him to a recent a Beltane soiree - during which Gomez had purchased a four acre plot on the upper-dark side from him at a very reasonable price. Gomez had such grand plans for such an idyllic spot. He needed to build a home-from-home that would do justice to such a hopelessly isolated and romantic atmosphere-less location. It was the perfect gift for his wife and nothing, certainly not logic, was going to stop him from getting it for her.

They had seen everywhere together, chased every storm and twister, every meteor shower, danced in every dust bowl and rolled in the murderous cold of the Artic. On their most recent trip, under the great orange Sahara moon, his darling wife had professed her wonder for what it must be like to see the world from the other vantage. Making love under the moon was always better - making love _on_ the moon could only be incredible.

"The moon is not a good place to build a holiday home, Mr. Addams."  
"But of course it is! No need to worry about drainage!"

They had almost drowned on an island north of Ireland, when an almighty storm ripped the thatched roof clean off their crumbling little holiday cottage. In the dark whirling danger of the thrashing cupboards and shattering windows, they could only laugh as they held one another in the fun of the devastation.  
On a screw steamer on Lake Superior, their dark hull cabin was the first to be flooded when the pathetic little boat toppled like a cork. It was nice to do some light swimming after supper and convenient to not have to leave their cabin, but oddly the couple left that particular trip craving higher ground.

"But you won't be able to breathe, Mr. Addams!"  
"Oh, don't worry, Blooker. My wife and I have scaled all the highest peaks, we really are very acclimatised to higher ground! Have you ever made love fourteen times in a row on the summit of Llullaillaco?"  
"-Please Mr. Addams I don't want to kno-"  
"Because we have."

Mount Bona had been their very favourite from the way its cutting winds chipped the skin of their cheeks, and the thick snow gave way like icing sugar under the weight of their entanglement. They could hardly feel their own fingers nor their hands on one another, but somehow that made it better.  
The Buttes of Monument Valley seemed so ideal for a little honeymoon retreat. Morticia's neck felt so impossibly hot as he kissed it under the halo of brutal sun and circling vultures. Their minds melting together like molten chocolate, sick with love and heatstroke.

"NASA are an esteemed academic research facility - not a brickie's!"  
"If you know of any space brickie's please get them on board! Although I was thinking corrugated iron for the moon bungalow - just like that wonderful bomb shelter in the Ukraine! Something about corrugated iron that just puts me in the mood..."

The clang and pangs of that brittle metal made the couple feel thrillingly vulnerable. The shelter could collapse in and they'd be crushed to ash, under the earth for all eternity never to be picked apart from the brick dust. The cold of the oppressive metal reminded Gomez of that elevator in Manhattan that snapped mid assentation. The memory of the couple coiled together in the pitch black cold and misery of the wreckage will stay with him fondly forever. He was ever so grateful the rescuers took so long.

Blooker didn't even try to hold his huff of frustration. "Mr. Addams, please! You simply can't holiday on the moon! NASA hasn't even successfully landed on it yet! As of yet man can't go on the moon!"  
"Ah! Well! They said man couldn't go anywhere near nuclear corium and yet Uncle Fester uses it daily as a night crème!"  
"Mr. Addams you'll die!"  
Gomez softened and limpened wistfully. He took a deep breath and smiled. "To die in the arms of my querida in the dark abyss of the moon? How wonderful! The only way to go."

They had seen every hellish recess of the wild and strange world and revelled in how meaningless the vast scale of nature made them feel. Staring off into the impossibly dark chasm of the night above Death Valley they knew that nothing mattered, and they found comfort in that. All that mattered was the people that they loved; rules, possibilities and convention meant nothing. If Morticia wanted the moon, by god he'd get it for her. If he died trying, so be it. His death wouldn't be in vain as long as it was all for her.

The line went dead as Blooker suddenly dropped the receiver. Gomez only sighed, deep in his romantic thoughts as he vacantly redialled.


End file.
